If you have desi parents, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about here. Indian girls especially have a hard time convincing parents they want to take time off from school to travel abroad on their own and it’s even harder when you still live with them. We all have the overbearing, overdramatic Indian parents who think travelling is just time pass, waste of money, something that takes away their children’s focus from what’s important: school, career, marriage and raising a family.

When I decided to take time off from school and work abroad on Norwegian Cruiselines, I received the same lecture: “You’re wasting a year, you’re going to be left behind in school” to “You better not come home with a gora! “(white boy).  After being firm, but gentle I was able to get my point across. I had it easier as I had been living on my own for a few years, but many Indian youth, even though they would like to live on their own and have independence, receive strong resistance from their parents (having your children live on rent, while you own a home in the same city is a blow to your social status in the Indian community).

Thus, when Indian youth want to travel and be on their own, we get wrapped around our mother’s umbilical cord and away she goes on the guilt trip:
“We came to this country with $3 and we’ve worked so hard for you to earn a degree and now you want to travel?! No vay. If you want to go, you have to stay with your Auntie and Uncle who will show you around.” 

Ugh. Well there goes that. Another trip where you load up on chai, samosas and visits to Little India with the family.

Indian parents don’t care that you want to travel the world to become a more rounded person, to live life as it comes, to “find yourself” and all this new age stuff. Discuss that with your friends, not your parents.

Here are some of Desi Globetrotter’s tips to help you discuss the topic with your parents :

1) Point A to Point B

Parents need to see a linear path –Point A to Point B. Ie) Cruise ship receptionist job– paying $900/month with airline/food/accommodation covered —helps me pay off some of my student loans so mom and dad don’t have to pay it all.  Explain to them how it is a benefit to them.  If you decide not to work abroad, tell them how much you have saved and your budget for your trip, and how you will compensate for that when you return.

2) What’s Your Plan?

Have a plan for how long you want to travel and what you will do when you come back.  This is important because parents don’t want to see their children going through life aimlessly. When I decided to take the cruise ship job, I told my parents it was for a 6 month contract and I knew when I came back home, I wanted to take the Event Marketing program which would take me 1.5 years to complete while working part time and I did just that.  Indian parents will feel more comfortable with you travelling when they know your career goals and plans.

3) Connect the Experience of Travelling to Work/Life Skills

Help connect the dots for your parents. Let them know that in today’s work force employers are looking for well-travelled employees who are flexible and comfortable working with other cultures and how your travel experience will be good for your resume.  After I came back home from working on cruise ships, I landed a job at a boutique hotel in Vancouver.  My mom realized my experience on the cruise ship helped me get that job.

4) Give Them Examples of Other Desi Travellers Your Age

Our parents do it all the time, comparing us to so and so’s kid so why not do the same! Explain to them the experiences that your friends are having and what path those friends are on now. Careful how you choose your words as you don’t want this to backfire! Give them the good examples and show them pictures.

5) Do Your Homework Before Approaching Them

Where will you be staying? Is it in the middle of the city or in the suburbs? Is it safe? How are you going to get from the airport to where you’re going? What are some of the safety measures you’re going to take? How much have you budgeted for the trip? Are you expecting your parents to pay? How will you keep in touch with them? Just like any other parents, Indian parents will worry about your safety and how you’ll manage on your own.  Be prepared to be peppered with questions and have well prepped answers for all.

Hope this helps! I would love to hear more tips! Please leave your comments below.

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