“I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.” – Mark Twain

He likes to stay in and play video games. You like to go out and explore. He hangs out with his high school friends and lives in the same neighbourhood. You’ve lived in different cities and love meeting new people. He hates air travel longer than two hours. You love flying overseas and airports are your second home. Ummmm, what to do?!! Before departing from him like an airplane on a tarmac you may want to consider a few things first.

You really, really like him, but will opposites attract? I had the same question six years ago. The guy I was dating thought he would travel only after he retired and had no desire to go outside of Canada or US. “I can see Greece on tv, no need to go there,” he says casually after switching to the landscape channel. “Really? Really??! How is this going to work?!” I thought to myself. And off I go ranting about experiencing the world first hand, but of course there’s no change in his perception. He might as well have said the Venetian Las Vegas is like being in Venice. Oh wait, he already said that.

Travelling is one of my passions and is really important to me, but when I was dating I had to think of what my priorities were for being with someone I love as well as other commonalities that connected us together. I asked myself is it more important that he is reliable, always there for me, thoughtful, has good family values, makes me a priority rather than an option, ambitious, but not married to his job or is being a traveller going to be one of my main criteria points for being with someone? Having gone through tough relationships in the past (including with those who enjoy travel and adventure), I knew what my answer was and everything else fell into place.

I am happily married to that non-traveller from 6 years ago. For our honeymoon, he was the one who suggested we go to Thailand. So what changed?

The need to travel now rather than later came with encouraging and challenging one another, compromise, learning to be open and linking commonalities to our goals. 

He loves international food and I love to travel. Perfect. Travelling can’t be complete without trying the country’s gastronomy! He wants to see the world cup one day – another reason to travel. He wants to learn more about world religions – what better way to learn about Buddhism, Christianity or Islam by travelling? By linking travel to common goals, the idea of ‘travel’ has become more palatable.

When we do travel now I see a whole new side to him, someone who is adventurous, ready to try new things and interested in learning about the world, not being scared of it. Seeing him open up and view the excitement of travel like I do is very endearing.  By having a partner to travel with I’ve also become more open to exploring his ideas, learning (still) how to pack lighter, trying new cuisines, keeping within our budget and going with the flow (except for when he rode the scooter in Phuket!). 

This might not be the case for everyone, but before you judge the non-traveller as being closed minded and question whether or not you and your beau are meant to be together, dig a little deeper and you’ll never know what surprises you’ll find.

“Traveling with a lover creates a sense of forward momentum where it might not otherwise exist. The relationship adopts the motion of the physical journey, eliminating the risk of boredom and making the travelers complicit. It shows each person in a new, maybe sexier, light. A journey can drive two people apart, as they realize the different ways they handle fender benders and lost luggage. But if it doesn’t, it binds them in a filament of romance and camaraderie.”
–Elisabeth Eaves, Wanderlust: A Love Affair with Five Continents (2011)

What do you think? Would you date someone who doesn’t enjoy travelling?